Share and Enjoy

'"Share and Enjoy'" is, of course, the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints division, which now covers the major land masses of three medium sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation to have shown a consistent profit in recent years.

The motto stands - or rather stood - in three mile high illuminated letters near the Complaints Department spaceport on Eadrax - "Share and Enjoy". Unfortunately its weight was such that shortly after it was erected, the ground beneath the letters caved in and they dropped for nearly half their length through the underground offices of many talented young complaints executives - now deceased. The protruding upper halves of the letters now appear, in the local language, to read "Go stick your head in a pig", and are no longer illuminated, except at times of special celebration.

At these times of special celebration a choir of over two million robots sing the company song "Share and Enjoy". Unfortunately - again - another of the computing errors for which the company is justly famous means that the robot's voices are exactly a flattened fifth out of tune and the result sounds something like this, only slightly worse.

The lyrics to the company song are as follows:

''Share and Enjoy Share and Enjoy Journey through life With a plastic boy Or Girl by your side Let your pal be your guide And when it breaks down Or starts to annoy Or grinds when it moves And gives you no joy Cos it's eaten your hat Or had sex with your cat Bled oil on your floor Or ripped off your door You get to the point You can't stand any more Bring it to us, we won't give a fig We'll tell you, 'Go stick your head in a pig'.''

Or listen to the song

From 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galazy by Douglas Adams. The original BBC Radio shows.